This is where you'll find boats listed for sale that we think are either bargains or beaters. We like to find hidden gems, worthwhile projects or good deals. We also like to call out ripoffs, so beware. The classified section can be both entertaining and informative.

Friday September 25, 2020

I’m not the biggest Baja fan but the old Outlaws have flat transoms and are easy conversions to outboard if that’s the route you want to take. Baja made a ton of them in all sizes so there are great deals out there. Or pickup one that is already converted and avoid the work. This is not a bad way to go.

Can’t say I know anything about Citation, there have been too many boat manufacturers over the years to keep track of them all. But, just imagine a 1988 Buick LeSabre with a porta potty in the back seat. How much do you think it would be worth? Keep in mind, if a bird shits on it, the insurance company might right it off. Buick LeSabre’s weren’t that great in 1988, time isn’t kind to anything.

If you’re going to waste money on an old boat, at least make it a recognizable classic like this Formula 242. These were built like tanks. Most boats like this will become money pits and are usually rotting but you could probably run it a few more summers and hopefully sell it before the ignition system fails, leaving you stranded way offshore, only to find a leaking gimbal housing while the boat fills up with water. No problem, just throw on the life jacket and head for shore. Send out a rescue signal if you can, help is on the way. If you survive, this might be the easiest way to get rid of it.

These are absolute classics. I wouldn’t hesitate to buy this. Fast, legendary and still amazing looking. You could repower with a modern engine, repair anything on the boat and know with full confidence you have one of the cooler boats on the lake. A center pod design, one of the best Mod VP boats and the colors on this one are beautiful. You can’t lose.

Honestly, this is one of the ugliest boats I’ve ever seen but when you really think about it, the design is amazing. You have everything in one package. You could literally live in this. Camping, fishing, racing, you name it, this does it. This Hydrostream is like a Pontiac Aztec on a Camaro chassis with an LS in it. There is nothing you can’t do in this boat, other than look good.

If you wasted 9 years of your life, got a divorce, became a estranged from your family and lost your life savings; I still think it might be worth restoring. The moment it was complete would be one of the most satisfying feelings in the world, you can’t put a price on that. Money and families are overrated, classic offshore boats aren’t.

Wednesday August 19, 2020

I love an old school offshore boat and this is a great example. The colors aren’t too bad and suit the vintage of the boat. Outerlimits started in 1993 so this is an early boat and a classic model. I don’t think you could go too far wrong if everything checks out. When you see what guys ask for complete piles of shit, this looks like a bargain.

I love honesty in a used boat ad. It says “project” right in the title, that way there are no allusions that this is anything more than a project. Of course, most boat ads feature projects but are being sold as “turnkey” or “ran great last season.” I love those. This one is different, in one picture, the deck is actually in a different part of the yard, laying on the ground. That way you at least know this thing will be more warped than a three legged dog’s spine. Of course, everything is with a grain of salt; “new interior”, “has good transom.” It’s hard to tell if you’re buying a project or paying to take away someone’s garbage.

I like old Sutphens, they are cool boats. But it’s very hard to justify $20k for a boat like this. Imagine a 1985 Firebird, painted at Maaco with a garage built engine and a homemade hood scoop. The trailer looks decent. Price out that Firebird and a decent trailer. Don’t forget to price in the number of times something will break on this and leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere. If you’re lucky, the gators will get you and you won’t have to deal with repairs on this or worry about when an asteroid hits the planet and we all turn to ashes.

I love these Actions. No frills, super basic but a blast to drive. You see them all over Florida and the 18, 19 and 20 have similar lines with slightly different hulls. This is the quintessential budget rocket. I believe they are still building them in the Keys. Both hands on the wheel, try and put the foot throttle through the floor board and watch out for manatees.

Considering how everything is going in 2020, I’m seriously thinking about some big changes. If this pandemic gets worse, the economy collapses completely and my family disowns me again, I think I’ll pick this thing up and just live in it. No more rent, no more problems. I really think it’s smart. When everything is falling apart on land and people are burning everything to the ground, I’ll be setting off into the horizon in my beautiful 37’ Trojan. What a name by the way, perfect for the apocalypse. Cruises at 18 knots. With half a tank of gas and a case of Miller High Life I’ll make it to heaven right on time.

Monday July 13, 2020

Man this is cool. I don’t care if you just declared bankruptcy, you’re behind on child support payments or out on bail, this is a must have. Even if you had to forge a few documents to get a loan on it, think of how awesome it would be just cruising up and down the Miami River in this. Absolutely legendary.

One great trick to quadruple the value of an old boat that is some backyard splash of something in Florida is to just call it a Donzi. No year, no details, just “twin 350 very fast clean.” I mean what else do you need to know, it’s a Donzi right?

The old Hornets are a deep beefy hull and not terrible looking. This one looks to have a more modern windshield, I don’t think it’s original but it looks good. This boat is over 40 years old, why does it look better than any new boat you can buy from big brands like Regal, Cobalt or Sea Ray?

Imagine asking $16,500 for a 1987 For Thunderbird. I mean why stop at $16,500 if we are getting greedy, why not $25k. How did you come up with $16? This has to be some secret code where those in the know are in on it and you’re not buying a boat but 1987 Seebold is code for a murder for hire or a pound of heroin. Has to be something like that. $1,600 would be more like it. Murder for hire on Craigslist always backfires by the way.

If you just moved to a new town and are having a hard time making friends, just buy this. Don’t do anything, just park it in your driveway or backyard and wait. Pretty soon, you’ll get people approaching you when you’re doing yard work or drinking just to talk about the boat. Tell them about your plans to restore it, how you used to race back in the day. Before you know it, you’ll be getting invited to parties, your calendar will be full and you’ll be introduced to more and more people. You’ll have job offers, blind dates, investment opportunities. You’ll be on the board of a local charity, the toast of the town. It will be worth it, it will change your life.

Monday May 18, 2020

I’ve always admired the Warlock boats from afar, and some of their designs, including the early 23 Offshore and 24’ World Class. The company was known for incredibly sleek and narrow boats. These early boats were designed by Tom Stolarz and around 1995, the company changed hands. This one, a rare 28’ Euro, made during the Ultimate Warlock era of the company is a pretty wild looking boat. From what I understand, the hull originated from the 25’ design, a straight 24 degree V, and closely resembles the race boats, but I’m not sure. A Bravo 3 with a low HP MerCruiser is probably not the best setup, but it’s a cool looking ride for sure.

A 2009 DCB project boat, interesting. Right off the bat, it’s never a great sign when anything from 2009 is a project only 11 years later. This boat crashed obviously, the deck damage and missing pieces don’t take Magnum PI to figure that out. What we have is basically a parts bin. Here is the problem and it’s a trend that’s been around forever. Not many can afford a new DCB M35, and not many can afford a 10 year old one either but when someone sees an auction or a wrecking yard unloading one, people assume they are getting parts for pennies on the dollar, or a boat they can fix and flip for a profit. Both very unlikely scenarios.

Insurance companies insure these boats, they write them off. Manufacturers do fix boats, as well as independent fiberglass repair shops but only when it makes sense. For a manufacturer, it’s more along the lines of a warranty job or if a new boat experiences a minor mishap, they may repair it.
An independent shop will fix it, for a price. You won’t like the price if you own the boat or are an insurance company. On a special boat like this DCB, virtually no shops will be able to match the original fit and finish.

A DCB that is about 10 or 12 years old, say a M31, F32 or M35 is going to be around $250 to $350k depending on many factors. They, like other high quality custom boats, hold their value quite well, it’s part of what you’re paying for new. Quality, reputation and performance are priced in. When a boat is crashed, especially when there is serious damage, it will never have that value again. If the damage is minor, that’s different and not in question here. Any boat can be fixed, even severely damaged boats; the question is should it be fixed. I mean that economically and technically. When composite panels are damaged, cracked and flexed they experience fatigue and structural integrity is compromised. Of course it can be fixed, but was every panel tested and every repair done to exact standards.

Generally, when a very expensive boat is crashed and damaged, it is so costly to fix that it’s not worth it to repair, especially when the boat won’t retain the same value after. In many cases the structure of the boat will be compromised too, every back wood shop who does this work will object to that claim, but they’d be wrong. If you have the expertise, and you’re not factoring the value of your time or it has sentimental value, then have at it. But anyone capable of doing the repairs, coordinating the project and bringing something like this back to near 90%, won’t touch it. Buying a lightly used one would be far more economical. And, when you’re going 120+ MPH and you come down funny on one of the sponsons, you’re putting a lot of trust in the integrity of that repair. You’d be betting your life on it.

There is a time when every boater hits that fork in the road: Do I continue pursuing boating as a hobby or pivot into gardening. Both are fantastic ways to enjoy the outdoors, are great excuses to acquire tools and provide incredible enjoyment. What you’re looking at here is the ultimate solution, a vintage Glastron that is now a garden bed. The ultimate decision breaker is always; lets’ do both. When it comes to boating and gardening though, what you really want to ask is; do I want to die a complete broke alcoholic with no friends? or die drinking alone with money in the bank and a wonderful garden? This Glastron is literally money in the bank.

A classic Steve Stepp Velocity 22. These have such a loyal following, owners seem to love them. A good size 22’ that can fly with power and handle some chop. Clean lines, basically a timeless design. Any old boat needs to be inspected carefully but this could provide years of enjoyment. Difficult to price though, can you think of any car from 1985 that is still worth $15k? Used boat prices always seem insane to me.

This could be a great boat, always loved these old Eliminator outboards. I think this has a modest V pad design and can run anything from a 150 to a 200+ HP. Even if not mint, worth fixing, you just can’t buy anything like this anymore.

This old Formula is a lot like that girl you knew that was great looking but was a bit heavy. She never lost the weight, maybe even gained some, yet was pretty in her own way, reliable and a true friend no matter how rough things got. She’s older now, but you’re still friends and you’re still not sure about a romantic relationship but time hasn’t been kind to you either so you let your guard down and it happens. Sure enough, it’s not perfect, nothing really is but her character, honesty and charm get you through the worst storms. I think what I”m trying to say is that these are old classics that aren’t fast but can run well for a 24’.

I don’t know, this thing is toast. If you’re a serial killer you might be able to lift the floor, put your victims in there and glass it back in, sell it and just move on. Nobody will suspect a thing, these were always overweight pigs anyway, nobody is going to fix it.

Wednesday April 25, 2020

I love this boat. Tasteful color scheme, not some goofy poker run psychedelic bullshit. Twin 502’s are great, this thing looks turnkey. Hard to price these older boats but when you see what guys ask for clapped out Sea Rays and Bayliners, this looks like a bargain.

I hate to be a jerk but “motivated seller” and $12,500 for a 1987 Baja. If he had it at $1,250, you could say motivated. At $12,500 the only motivation I have is to laugh. What’s a faded and high mileage 1987 Ford Thunderbird going for these days? There’s your motivation.

Well it’s certainly rare but the key for something to be rare and valuable lies in its desirability. Unless you need a massive garden bed, the desire is low on this thing. The “rare” fiberglass Alumacraft is rare for a reason and $2k, what planet is this guy on. I’d rather sniff $2k worth of glue and be buried alive then own this. Look at that goddamn trailer too.

Everyone thinks I hate Donzi Classics because of an article I wrote a couple years ago criticizing the hull design. It’s not true, I really like them. They are great cruisers, still look cool and are generally built pretty solid. And, for a little boat can handle some rough water. This one looks great and a decent deal. Where guys get into trouble is trying to turn them into 500+ HP top speed runners, which they aren’t.

Of all the old Checkmates, these little Predictors are pretty cool. They have a pad bottom, decent hull, they are light and you don’t need much power on them to have fun. The nightmare here is if it’s totally rotten. If it’s not, you could spend a day wet sanding and buffing this thing to a shine and just hit the water. Very rarely do things work out that way though in life. Might be worth rescuing though, nice little boat.

I’m not a fan of these smaller Convincors, too fat looking. The freeboard is too high and it looks stubby. These big block powered small boats are just guzzlers too. But, the transom is flush, so if you were going to do a crazy outboard conversion, these would be an interesting boat to try it on. You could use a bracket, and run a single 300 and probably improve the overall performance. Or you could find a boat that already is an outboard and try to be a normal person.

Thursday January 16, 2020

This boat represents the worst of the worst. Horrendous paint job, it actually has a speaker tower mounted on the deck and it lights up! An open bow to top it off. Of course, “this is one of the nicest boats you will ever see” in the ad. If you took away the paint, the speakers, and it wasn’t an open bow, you’d have a decent looking boat. I’d rather drive around in a Barbie Corvette.

This boat represents everything right about a boat. Well designed, timeless, fast. I’m not sure about the price, like any boat this old you’d have to do a thorough inspection. The best part of a Viper is you don’t need tons of power to go fast. Very cool boat.

I love Shadows. This is an original Linder boat in a way, the Challenger is the true original. Shadows were a little faster, with a notch in the transom, possibly lighter. George Linder was part of the company up until 1983. Transom and hull are cracked here, engine is toast. Trailer looks like it needs everything. If you took it as a project, half way through, you would wish you were one of the dead bodies you’re going to pull from under the bow. This one is dead.

Man this is a tough sell. Jets are just very limited, not fast, not great in rough water, horribly inefficient. This just looks like one way ticket to heaven, or hell, depending on who’s driving. It would be easier to sell a bear trap at a PETA rally.

This is a boat I can get behind. I love old Fountains for no other reason than they are fast and look cool. I don’t really care that their not the best built. Fountains are kind of like the Offshore version of a Hydrostream. Both ownership groups have a lot in common: they put boat parts and beer money before family, only drive full throttle, only wear a shirt if the temperature is below fifty degrees, and have been married at least 3 times.

I like some Checkmates, but this isn’t one of them. Big, bulky, kind of ugly. It just doesn’t look right for a 24’ boat.